Jury's Verdict #1 - The Perfect Lie
Starting from episode #6 and continuing every couple of weeks, I'm going to be releasing a blog post to discuss some of the main cases we've talked about as well as what the audience has had to say about them and any additional thoughts and discoveries I've managed to make. A sort of after show if you will, but on the written page. I know, I know. I can hear you screaming through the webpage, 'James, we've just listened to your podcast and now we've got to read it? This is exactly what we asked for thank you so much. No amount of wonderful food, entertaining television, long awaited sex or any other positive life choice whatsoever can stop me from reading this thrilling blog.' It's wonderful to have such supportive listeners.
A strong relationship is built on mutual trust and communication. When I'm at a Five Guys, I know to order extra fries. Because I 'trust' that Sweet Tee is going to eat mine as well as hers and she 'communicates' this by saying 'I've got my own fries it's okay, don't spend extra,' and then moving her hand to my pile and grabbing them anyway. It's this sort of awareness and lack of fries that has kept our relationship strong, and my stomach smaller. These ideas were put to the test in the latest episode of Court Case. For the main topic, myself and my wonderful co-host Sweet Tee discussed the question: 'Is faking orgasms abuse?'
Now I first discovered this topic from an article that I stumbled across. It discussed a real conversation between a group of female friends. The first friend explained that she was tempted to fake an orgasm with her partner. The second friend was horrified, she implied that lying about sex in this way was 'basically abuse.' If this is true, I'm excited to file multiple police reports on 95% of my ex-girlfriends.
But is it? Following the #MeToo movement of a few years ago, new research and debates have been held and brought to the forefront of discussion involving consent, domestic and sexual abuse. I decided that research was going to be made by myself before I brought this topic to my co-host (By research, that normally means sit at your laptop, google your own name and have a quick wank).
As it turns out, this particular topic has not had much research conducted on it at all. Hooray for me, I thought. That means I hardly have to do any work and can make the conclusion myself, therefore cementing James Court as a pioneer in sexual science, bun off this podcast as a whole and collect my millions, as I trip over the multitude of Nobel prizes that will fall out of my pockets on the way to the bank.
There has however, been research into why people fake orgasms. And I say people instead of women, because according to an article I found, two Canadian universities did a study and found that men also fake orgasms. I assume Canadians are too nice to complain about shitty sex. But there is more than one reason why a person would fake an orgasm. A crappy time, sexual abuse, their partners sweaty body is in the way of the climax to the final episode of 'The Crown'.
A persons reason for faking an orgasm during a one night stand is most likely wildly different than a persons reason during relationship sex. This is the conclusion myself and Sweet Tee came to on the podcast anyway. I saw a Guardian article written by a woman that was in a four year relationship and has faked every orgasm. That is a seriously long commitment to shitty sex. I am impressed at her stubbornness to not communicate with her partner.
After the episode, I took this study to the audience and asked them two questions. Firstly, I asked if they thought faking orgasms was abuse. 92% said No. Case closed. Why did I put all this effort in? This took two seconds and I've wasted four hours of research. Definitive answer, paging Dr Phil, give me your job. My second question was 'Do you fake your orgasms?' Now in hindsight I realise that the likelihood of many people being truthful with me was slim but I figured it was worth a shot. 96% said that they didn't. Now either we have an extremely honest audience with a very healthy sex life or faking orgasms isn't the only way you scoundrels lie.
Now, I want to round off this groundbreaking, first ever research article into the topic of whether faking orgasms is abuse with my own thoughts. Do I think it's abuse? The short answer is no. The long answer is also no but let me finish. It's not abuse but it's not great either. If you are in a non consenting situation then faking an orgasm can be a good way to get out of it fast. The same goes for a one night stand. But if you are in a loving, committed relationship and you are faking your orgasms, then I guess you aren't in one. Don't settle for a life of no pleasure. Communicate with your partner, tell them what you like. Because 9 times out of 10, they want you to be having just as good a time as they are. Communication is key.
And that's case closed. I'm going to take full credit for saving a few dying relationships there. If you haven't listened to the latest podcast, I don't know why you've read this first but it's that kind of against the grain thinking that we like here. Head over to the Podcasts page and have yourself a listen. Happy orgasms everybody.
- James Court (@thecourtofjames)